How to Write and Deliver an Eulogy

Delivering a eulogy is one of the most meaningful and emotional ways to honor a loved one’s life. It’s an opportunity to share stories, celebrate their character, and offer comfort to everyone gathered in mourning. While many people feel intimidated by the task, writing and delivering a heartfelt eulogy doesn’t require perfection - only sincerity and love. This guide from Eagle Lake Funeral Home walks you through every part of the process: from writing structure and storytelling to emotional preparation and delivery.
Understanding the Purpose of a Eulogy
A eulogy (from the Greek word eulogia, meaning “praise” or “blessing”) is a speech that honors the life, values, and memory of someone who has passed away. Beyond listing accomplishments, a good eulogy shares personal reflections, celebrates moments of joy, and helps others begin to heal. Its purpose is threefold: to remember, to comfort, and to inspire.
Traditionally, eulogies are delivered by family members or close friends - spouses, children, siblings, or long-time companions. However, clergy members, colleagues, or community leaders may also be chosen, especially when the deceased made significant professional or civic contributions. Multiple speakers are often welcome, each providing a different perspective on the person’s life.
The Main Types of Eulogies
There’s no single “correct” way to write a eulogy. The tone, format, and style should reflect both the speaker’s voice and the loved one’s personality. Common approaches include:
- Biographical eulogy: A chronological account of major life milestones, offering a full picture of the person’s journey.
- Personal remembrance: Focused on the speaker’s relationship with the deceased, filled with meaningful anecdotes.
- Character-based eulogy: Highlights the individual’s defining traits, such as kindness, humor, or resilience, supported by stories.
- Story-driven eulogy: Built around a few vivid stories that capture the person’s essence.
- Collective eulogy: A compilation of memories gathered from multiple friends or family members.
Each type can be combined or adjusted - the key is authenticity and emotional connection.
What Every Eulogy Should Include
A strong eulogy typically follows a simple structure:
- Introduction – Begin by greeting attendees, thanking them for coming, and sharing your relationship with the deceased.
- Life Overview – Provide context through key milestones, education, work, relationships, or community involvement.
- Character and Qualities – Discuss the person’s defining traits and values.
- Stories and Anecdotes – Use 2–4 specific memories that illustrate who they were.
- Legacy and Impact – Reflect on what they taught others or how they changed lives.
- Words of Comfort – Offer hope, reflection, or gratitude to those grieving.
The best eulogies balance humor and heart, weaving small moments of joy into deeper reflection.
How to Write a Eulogy: Step by Step
- Gather Information – Speak with family and friends to collect stories, achievements, hobbies, and personal traits. These details bring depth and dimension to your tribute.
- Identify Key Themes – Look for recurring ideas or values: love for family, dedication to service, sense of humor, generosity. These themes will shape your structure.
- Choose Stories – Select anecdotes that represent those themes and resonate with the audience. A well-told story can convey more meaning than a list of facts.
- Create an Outline – Organize your material chronologically or thematically. Aim for a natural flow that feels conversational and heartfelt.
- Write the Draft – Focus on authenticity, not eloquence. Write as if you’re speaking to the audience. Keep it around 5–10 minutes (750–1,500 words) for best pacing.
- Revise and Edit – Read it aloud, fine-tune the rhythm, and ensure every story supports your main message. Ask someone you trust to review it.
- Practice the Delivery – Rehearse several times to get comfortable with timing and emotional moments.
How to Begin a Eulogy
Openings set the tone for connection and comfort. You might:
- Thank everyone for coming and express what it means to see them gathered.
- Introduce yourself and your relationship to the deceased.
- Start with a meaningful memory, quote, or phrase that reflects their spirit.
- Acknowledge the emotion of the moment with honesty and grace.
For example:
“Thank you all for being here today to celebrate my father’s life. He was a man who taught us to find humor in every challenge, and I think he’d want us smiling as we remember him.”
How to End a Eulogy
A powerful conclusion ties the themes together and leaves mourners with comfort and reflection. You can:
- Revisit the central quality or lesson that defined your loved one’s life.
- Offer a brief farewell or statement of love.
- End with a favorite quote, scripture, or poem that captures their spirit.
- Pause for silence to let your words sink in before returning to your seat.
Many speakers choose to close with a simple phrase of love, such as:
“We’ll carry your laughter and kindness with us always.”
Tips for Delivering a Eulogy
Speaking in front of a grieving audience can be emotional, but preparation eases anxiety:
- Bring a printed copy in large font or note cards for guidance.
- Breathe slowly and pause when needed; emotions are normal and accepted.
- Make eye contact when comfortable, but don’t be afraid to read directly.
- Have water and tissues nearby.
- Remember: sincerity matters far more than perfection.
If tears come, take your time - audiences understand the weight of the moment. You’re not performing; you’re honoring.
Managing Emotions and Support
If you fear becoming too emotional, ask someone to be ready to step in or finish your remarks if needed. Practicing aloud several times helps you anticipate emotional points. Remind yourself that showing emotion is not a weakness-it’s a tribute to your love and connection.
The Power of a Well-Spoken Farewell
Writing and delivering a eulogy is one of the most personal gifts you can give. It transforms grief into storytelling, reminding everyone of the beauty, humor, and love that defined your loved one’s life. As Eagle Lake Funeral Home reminds families, “A great eulogy doesn’t just say goodbye - it keeps the memory alive.”
With honesty, warmth, and care, anyone can craft a eulogy that uplifts hearts and celebrates a life well-lived.




